Homily - Sunday
October 21, 2018
God of Change
Mark 10:35-45 (Readings) Sit at your right and your left
Deacon David Lewis
Saint Charles Catholic Church, Imperial Beach / San Diego, CA
My journey into the Catholic Church started around 1999 when my wife, son and I first started attending Precious Blood Catholic Church in Chula Vista. 2002 I entered in to RCIA – Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults at Saint Jerome to become Catholic. 5 years later in 2007 I entered formation to become a deacon, and in 2012 I was ordained a deacon to serve here at Saint Charles.
It has been quite a journey: After three parishes, an annulment of my first, failed, marriage, and the blessing of my current marriage, the Sacrament of confirmation and my first communion, Basic Catechist class, living my Cursillo weekend, five years of formation and classes, with four years of serving hospitals, jails, homeless, and the dying, complete with ordination. One thing I wasn’t aware of as I went through the doors of Precious Blood that first time, was how much God was going to ask me to change.
But it hasn’t been all work, and classes… some of the changes are blessings, my marriage has never been better, I have been cigarette free for over ten years after giving up smoking for Lent one year, and when my Dad passed, it was an occasion of hope of eternal life, not so much sorrow and sadness, something that I wouldn’t have understood the same way before my faith journey.
Our religion, our God, is one of change. If we are not on a path towards Him, he wants us to change direction. It might be something as simple as today’s Gospel message, about being called to serve, to exercise humility, to not misuse your authority over your co-workers, or family members, or even those serving us at stores and restaurants, but to serve them. It brought to mind of how my mom would serve. Oh, believe me, her and my dad had authority over us six kids, but she is the greatest example I know of serving those you have authority over. My mom was quick with a spanking when we stepped out of line, but she was always, ALWAYS!, the last to sit down at dinner, and not until every setting was placed, and she made sure every foreseeable need taken care of: salt, pepper, butter, margarine, milk, and Kool-Aid was all brought to the table would she take her seat. She didn’t lord her authority over us, she served us.
Ultimately God wants us to have total comfort with him, and that will happen with His mercy when we pass from this life in to heaven, but in the meantime, for me anyway, Catholicism is uncomfortable. God is still asking me to change, and change makes me uncomfortable. When I get aggravated during my commute, God asks me to change. When I am in a hurry and don’t stop for a moment to recognize those serving me at the grocery checkout, or fast food counter, God asks me to change. When I see someone in need, perhaps someone short of money in front of me in line, God asks me to get uncomfortable and offer to help them. Putting aside my fears that they may get upset at my asking and to ask anyway, or better yet, just do it. When I feared speaking to people about the death of their loved one, God asked me to be uncomfortable anyway.
But God hasn’t asked me to change and then walked away, he has often given me a “warm-up” round. One of my biggest fears used to be dealing with the dying, hoping I would not say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I have had a couple of moments of God making me uncomfortable like when I was serving in juvenile detention the guards asked that I counsel a boy that just found out during visiting hours that the grandmother he loved, and was the one rock in his life, had passed. I felt so inadequately prepared to help him, but spoke with him anyway. He was upset, but after some prayer, and conversation, he gathered himself together and was able to return to his housing unit. Immediately after that I went back to meeting with the other boys that had turned in chaplain requests. Immediately after I spoke with the boy with the grandma, I met with a boy that was struggling with the death of his little sister, his three year-old little sister, that was shot and killed at his feet as a neighboring gang did a drive-by shooting in retaliation for this boys earlier action actions against that gang. It was because of his actions that this other gang shot at him, killing his innocent little sister … and he was struggling hard with that. God gave me a warm up, but I was still uncomfortable.
Fast forward to hospital ministry, and my first death was a middle aged man that struggled with his own demons in life that had been found in the park the night before unconscious, and the first people on the scene began CPR and kept him alive, but when there was still no sign of brain activity the next day the family decided to unplug the machines that kept him alive. I sat with the family as he lived his last few moments and we prayed together. After finishing I walked out of the one ICU room into the hallway to find a group of about 20-30 people had gathered around the corner room. I asked the nurses if they needed a chaplain, and they said “yes, he is near death” a nurse was in the small room where I was putting on my protective clothing and he explained to me the young man in his early twenties, had a wife and two children and had just gotten the H1N1 flu a couple of weeks ago and was about to pass. We prayed together with those in the room as hew passed and I then went out and prayed with the friends and family gathered in the hallway. God gave me a warmup, but I was still uncomfortable.
As I serve our community’s dying and the loved ones surrounding them, I am still uncomfortable but less so, but being uncomfortable isn’t a bad thing, if we can imagine for a moment we are play-dough in God’s hands and he is pressing us into the shape, into the person he wants us to be, that bending, stretching and shaping is often accompanied by pain, and discomfort.
Serving God is not about the glory we receive, but in being His servant. As you serve God’s people go outside of your comfort zone, it is likely God will give you the words, and when needed the silence, to serve best. But we are not to take glory in it, but to humble ourselves and make Christ present in those moments he is most needed, giving all glory to God. And like the twelve apostles, some of whom were fishermen summoned to drop their nets and follow Jesus, others were tax collectors, asked to change their lives and follow Him, let us too, drop those things from our lives that keep us from following Jesus: our pride, our ambitions, our desires, and our addictions, so that we may become servants of Christ, making sure the needs of others around us are met. For the son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.
And at the end of Mass “Go forth, glorifying the Lord by your life, even if it makes you uncomfortable.”
